(ChatGPT was consulted and employed in the production of this oddity)

I live in Brisbane and in many ways it has incredible weather.

At the same time, there ought to be a government guarantee that every citizen will be afforded access to air conditioning as a right of residency (however temporary) -- as we suffer a tad too much of the sun's rays here.

The challenge is -- we need "environmentally positive" ways to exist. If we expect we'll increase local populations (we will) on a planet with increasingly variable weather then we either engineer the human genome to withstand extremes of weather (let's call this plan B and hope it never comes to this) or we find ways to improve our environmental impact, even while demanding more energy to support the the perfect dignity of a growing population.

Can you imagine Catriona Roundtree, with enthusiasm and charm, reading each of the following statements about Brisbane:

• "Welcome to Brisbane, where the sun shines bright and the skies are always blue!"
• "Enjoy endless summer days in Brisbane, where the warm weather never seems to end."
• "Brisbane's weather is as friendly as its locals, with mild winters and glorious summers."
• "Get ready for an unforgettable adventure in Brisbane, where the weather is always on your side."
• "Discover Brisbane's sunny side, where every day is a perfect day for outdoor fun."
• "Brisbane's subtropical climate is perfect for outdoor enthusiasts, with warm weather all year round."
• "Escape the winter blues and head to Brisbane, where the sun is always shining."
• "Fall in love with Brisbane's endless sunshine, perfect for exploring the city's stunning natural beauty."
• "Experience Brisbane's warm and welcoming weather, the perfect backdrop for a memorable holiday."
• "Make the most of Brisbane's perfect climate and explore the city's vibrant culture and buzzing nightlife."
• "Brisbane's sunny skies and warm weather are calling your name - come and soak up the fun!" -"Welcome to Brisbane, where the weather is always on your side and the adventure never ends." -"Discover a city that's always in bloom, with Brisbane's warm and sunny weather all year round." -"Enjoy a tropical paradise in the heart of the city, with Brisbane's subtropical climate and stunning natural landscapes." -"From lazy beach days to thrilling outdoor adventures, Brisbane's perfect weather is waiting for you." -"Brisbane's sunny skies and mild temperatures make every day the perfect day for exploring the city." -"Get ready for an unforgettable holiday in Brisbane, where the weather is just as beautiful as the city itself." -"Come and experience the best of Brisbane, where the weather is always perfect for outdoor fun and adventure."

Or, if we're in the grip of stronger emotions we might saw:

-"Experience the raw energy of Brisbane's fiery sunsets and sun-drenched days." -"Brisbane's weather is as hot as its passion for life, igniting your senses with every moment." -"Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions in Brisbane, where the weather is as intense as the city itself." -"Experience the dramatic beauty of Brisbane's weather, where every day is an epic adventure." -"Feel the power of Brisbane's weather as it takes you on a thrilling journey of natural wonders and breathtaking landscapes." -"Get swept away by the sheer force of Brisbane's sun-kissed days and tropical nights." -"From the intensity of the midday sun to the drama of a summer storm, Brisbane's weather is a force to be reckoned with." -"Experience the full spectrum of emotions in Brisbane, where the weather is as wild and free as the city's spirit." -"Brisbane's weather is like a symphony for the senses, with each day bringing new highs and lows." -"Feel the thrill of the moment in Brisbane, where the weather is a powerful reminder to live life to the fullest." -"Brisbane's weather is an emotional journey, with highs and lows that will leave you breathless." -"Get ready for a sensory explosion in Brisbane, where the weather is as vibrant and passionate as the city's culture." -"Experience the heart-pounding intensity of Brisbane's weather, where every day is a new adventure waiting to be explored." -"Brisbane's weather is like a work of art, with each moment painted in vivid, striking colors." -"Feel the power of nature in Brisbane, where the weather is a constant reminder of our place in the world." -"Brisbane's weather is an emotional rollercoaster, with every day bringing new surprises and thrills." -"Experience the edgy, intense energy of Brisbane's weather, where every moment is an opportunity to feel alive." -"Get ready for a wild ride in Brisbane, where the weather is a force to be reckoned with, leaving you feeling exhilarated and alive."

Though a journalist with a beaten down, pessimistic soul, secretly trying to convince his girl not to move to brisbane, without losing his job, would almost definitely say:

-"Brisbane's weather is nice, but it's always so hot and humid, you'll be constantly sweating." -"Sure, Brisbane's weather is warm and sunny, but you'll miss the crisp winter mornings in Melbourne." -"Brisbane's weather might be appealing, but you'll have to put up with the constant threat of summer storms and flooding." -"Yes, Brisbane's weather is great for outdoor activities, but you'll have to deal with the swarms of mosquitoes and sandflies." -"Brisbane's weather is pleasant, but you'll miss the variety of seasons and the cozy feeling of snuggling up in winter." -"Sure, Brisbane's weather is lovely, but you'll have to deal with the constant need to apply sunscreen and stay hydrated." -"Brisbane's weather might seem inviting, but you'll have to get used to the oppressive humidity that saps your energy." -"Yes, Brisbane's weather is warm and sunny, but you'll miss the refreshing coolness of a Melbourne autumn." -"Brisbane's weather is appealing, but you'll have to put up with the constant noise of air conditioning units and fans." -"Sure, Brisbane's weather is enjoyable, but you'll miss the feeling of snuggling up by the fire on a cold winter's night." -"Brisbane's weather might seem attractive, but you'll have to put up with the constant need to reapply deodorant and anti-perspirant." -"Yes, Brisbane's weather is inviting, but you'll miss the distinct change of seasons and the beautiful autumn foliage in Melbourne." -"Brisbane's weather is agreeable, but you'll have to cope with the frequent thunderstorms and lightning strikes." -"Sure, Brisbane's weather is pleasant, but you'll miss the opportunity to rug up and enjoy a hot chocolate during a Melbourne winter." -"Brisbane's weather might seem tempting, but you'll have to deal with the high humidity and the constant need to wash your clothes." -"Yes, Brisbane's weather is appealing, but you'll miss the coziness of snuggling up in bed on a cold winter morning." -"Brisbane's weather is decent, but you'll have to put up with the heat and humidity, which can be exhausting and draining." -"Sure, Brisbane's weather is alright, but you'll miss the feeling of being cozy and comfortable during a Melbourne winter."-

Or -- as a a journalist, who is a pessimist, and who thinks people who moved to brisbane are absolute chumps, and is secretly terrified his girlfriend will suggest they move there, but still wants to keep his job at the radio station says:

-"Brisbane's weather is unbearable, with oppressive heat and humidity that will make you regret moving there." -"The weather in Brisbane is a constant reminder of the mistake you made in moving there, with searing heat and scorching sun." -"If you're looking for a climate that will sap your energy and leave you feeling drained, then Brisbane's weather is perfect for you." -"Don't be fooled by the occasional pleasant day, Brisbane's weather is a cruel joke that will leave you feeling betrayed and miserable." -"Brisbane's weather is an endless cycle of sweltering heat, drenching humidity, and pounding rain that will drive you insane." -"If you enjoy feeling like you're walking through a sauna, then Brisbane's weather is perfect for you." -"The weather in Brisbane is a cruel and unforgiving mistress that will punish you for your foolish decision to move there." -"Brisbane's weather is like a bad hangover that never goes away, leaving you feeling sick and miserable all day long." -"If you want to experience the joy of feeling like you're walking through molten lava, then Brisbane's weather is the perfect choice for you." -"Don't be deceived by the occasional pleasant breeze, Brisbane's weather is a relentless assault on your senses that will leave you feeling battered and bruised." -"Brisbane's weather is like a cruel joke that will leave you questioning why you ever thought it was a good idea to move there." -"If you enjoy the feeling of constantly sweating and feeling sticky, then Brisbane's weather is perfect for you." -"The weather in Brisbane is like being trapped in a pressure cooker, with relentless heat and humidity that will make you feel like you're suffocating." -"Brisbane's weather is like a never-ending nightmare, with heat that will leave you feeling exhausted and drained all day long." -"Don't be fooled by the occasional glimpse of blue sky, Brisbane's weather is a cruel and unforgiving beast that will leave you feeling defeated and miserable." -"Brisbane's weather is like a punishment from the gods, with unrelenting heat and humidity that will make you regret your decision to move there." -"If you enjoy feeling like you're melting into a puddle, then Brisbane's weather is perfect for you." -"The weather in Brisbane is like a punch to the gut, with scorching sun and oppressive heat that will leave you feeling winded and defeated."

Or, if they've been paid by a melbourne retirement village to make brisbane sound like Hades on earth, and one of the ones to be avoided, they might write:

-"If you're looking for a place to retire and be absolutely miserable, then Brisbane is the perfect choice for you!" -"Brisbane is currently experiencing a weather event that is so unbearable, it will make you forget all about your troubles and focus solely on the agony of the heat." -"For those who have always wanted to experience what it feels like to be slowly cooked alive, Brisbane's weather is the perfect opportunity." -"The current weather situation in Brisbane is a true test of one's mental fortitude and ability to withstand extreme suffering." -"If you're looking for a challenge in your retirement years, then moving to Brisbane and enduring its relentless heat and humidity is the perfect way to push yourself to your limits." -"Brisbane's weather is so brutal that it will make you forget all about your problems and focus solely on the misery of the moment." -"For those who like to suffer in silence, Brisbane's weather is the perfect way to experience pain without anyone knowing about it." -"The current weather event in Brisbane is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to experience true suffering and regret." -"If you've always wanted to feel like you're living in a sauna, then moving to Brisbane is the perfect way to fulfill that dream." -"Brisbane's weather is so unbearable that it will make you wish you never retired in the first place." -"For those who love to be constantly drenched in sweat and misery, Brisbane's weather is a dream come true." -"The current weather situation in Brisbane is a true test of one's willpower and ability to endure extreme discomfort." -"If you want to spend your retirement years feeling like you're being slowly roasted over an open flame, then Brisbane's weather is the perfect way to achieve that." -"Brisbane's weather is so punishing that it will make you wish you never left your old life behind." -"For those who like to suffer for no reason, Brisbane's weather is the perfect way to experience pointless pain and discomfort." -"The current weather event in Brisbane is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to experience true misery and despair." -"If you want to spend your retirement years feeling like you're living in a hellish landscape, then moving to Brisbane is the perfect way to achieve that." -"Brisbane's weather is so unbearable that it will make you long for the peace and quiet of your old life."